Today was the first day in a long time that I woke
up feeling like myself, feeling like I was going to be Ok. It wasn’t one thing
in particular that happened, just a bunch of little things that added up to me
feeling this way. Don’t get me wrong, I am still pretty terrified of what is
going to become of me, but I have made peace with it for now. Making peace with
it won’t be easy, but it is needed. Finding that peace has come in a simple
form, people’s reaction to what I am doing with my life.
Once I explain that for the first time in my life I
am putting myself first and following MY dreams, someone’s reaction speaks
volumes. If you understand and support me, that’s great. If you show judgment,
or worse some stupid emoticon after a text, well I am sorry that you don’t understand,
but that’s on you. I took a risk earlier this year and it was the wrong decision, but it brought me here. It brought me back to my keyboard, back to my
thoughts, and back to myself. How can you judge that?
I totally understand that me claiming to be a writer
can cause skepticism in many since yes, it may never actually happen for me,
but that doesn’t mean you are free to laugh about it. Don’t just say you are
supportive, but show it. Actions speak louder than words.
Laura Bush knows who she is, where she wants to be,
and I am striving to have that same confidence. One step at a time. First comes
peace with my future going forward. Next will be finding my confidence,
something I have always struggled with. But for today, I am Ok with just having
peace. What would Laura Bush do? 
Was finally able to catch up on your blogs tonight; I enjoy their thought-provokingness (how's that for a word?!?) and admire your courage. Hugs to you and Laura both!
ReplyDeletemmm... brandon boyd... sorry. anyway, do I understand how a smart, classy, kind, funny, hot blonde w/ a god-given writing talent struggles to find her confidence? no, not really. but that doesn't mean I don't think you've made huge strides in believing in yourself. oh, and as for the haters, don't forget: all the water in the world can't sink a ship unless it gets inside. ya feel me?
ReplyDeleteYou ARE a writer. It has already happened.
ReplyDelete