Thursday, April 17, 2014

Winners and losers

The world is filled with winners and losers. Not just in competitive events, but in life. Some are much deserved. You work hard, you play nice, rewards galore. You are lazy and mean, karma can be a bitch. Such winners and losers are easy to point to and know why they are where they are. Others, well not so easily noticed. I for one am a loser. No, I am not saying that for an ego boost or to hear why I am not a loser. I am saying that since at this juncture in my life, I am losing. Of course I win at some things, hell I am a marathon runner, but lately I am more on the losing side. It happens. It would be easy for me to let it destroy me, but is that what Laura Bush would do?

I made peace years ago how some people in my life think of me as a way to feel better about themselves and their life. Things are going poorly for me, but hey at least I am not Kitt who isn’t married and doesn’t have kids. I know I am put on that pedestal for others to always go to when perhaps there is something wrong in their life. I just go with it, what’s the point? I have cut some of these people out of my life but unfortunately others will always be a part of it. It is true that I am not married nor do I have kids, but what is also true is the fact that I refuse to settle. I may someday settle down, but I will never settle. And with the exception of one person, everyone that has been in my life would have been settling.

How do I spot these people? Well if you never have anything positive to say to me or make every conversation about you, then yes, I will just sit there and listen and not bother commenting. It has gotten to the point that once it was realized that trying to make me get down an aisle wasn’t really working, they would go so far as to get on me about being too thin. Yes I am thin, but I also run marathons. You are so unhappy with your appearance that you want to be a hypocrite about mine, go train and run a marathon and watch what happens.

When these people start to belittle me, what would Laura Bush do? Would she defend herself or would she walk away? I would like to think it would be a combination of both. Some comments don’t warrant a response. Something said that is mean calls for no reaction. But when does me defending myself become the correct answer? And how many times do you try before realizing that this person will never change? That this person will always be judgmental no matter what you say or do.

Now what about when someone close to you is a winner? Can a loser discuss being a loser with a winner? Will they be able to be there for you without giving you the stock, boring “it will get better” response. The “think positive” line and all will work out. Umm, sure but where has that gotten me lately? I have devised a plan to know which winner is interested and which one is not. It’s an easy one…simply ask when you last heard from them and whether it was about them. If you sporadically hear from them, maybe not go to them. They can say they are there to listen, but have they shown you any action to believe that? The justification that they were giving you space doesn’t work. It takes very little to send a “How are you” text. If you don’t feel like texting back, fine, no harm no foul. Also, think of the past. How many times have you tried to talk with them and nothing? Those that matter will make time for you, regardless.

That friend that goes so far as to announce to the social media world how she feels about you. Now that person there is the one to talk to. Winner or loser, they will be there for you. They will put you first and most importantly, they will listen. Find that person, they are worth keeping. What would Laura Bush do?

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