“I’ll ride the wave where it takes me. I’ll hold the pain. Release me,” Release, Pearl Jam
After a very long hiatus, it is time for this blog to return. It is not because of the demand for it. It is not because I am bored. It is not because it will lead to anything. It is not because of one particular person. It is because in my life there has never been more of a time to be Laura Bush. The need for her inspiration, her class, her outlook, herself, is what I need to be reminded of going forward.
First, my apologies to my readers for stepping away from this blog with no explanation. I could easily make up an excuse about having two jobs and being a grad student, but that is simply an excuse. While there were other reasons I decided to take a break, the real one was inspiration. For a time I stopped striving to always ask What Would Laura Bush Do? I continued to live my life by her example, but I wasn’t expressing the need for it to the world. That has changed. It is time to bring class back to all those that read this blog and are in my life.
Recently I was put in a situation that ended up making me a fool. It was a humiliation that backfired hard. It was something that I knew was going to end this way, but I held on to hope that maybe for once I was wrong. Maybe for once, I would win. I didn’t, so here I am. I find myself back at my keyboard. I find myself back to where I feel the safest. I find myself a writer again.
More details of everything that went down will continue in future blog entries (I promise!), but today I write about what Laura Bush would do when made a fool. Who is at fault when this happens? Is it the person that put you in the situation, or is it you for allowing it to ever happen? Is the blame equal? One person turned out to not be kind, but you chose to allow it.
I am a guarded person. Try as I may, I have walls. I always see the good in people, but not in myself. I am always waiting for the other shoe to fall. But with that said, I took a chance against all my hesitation. It wasn’t the right thing. I should have remained myself and just walked away earlier than now.
So because I put myself into a situation that already frightened me, is this my fault? Is this deserved? I don’t know. But what I do know is that I can still be Laura Bush. I can still walk away with class. I will not engage. I will not sink to another’s level. I will not be unkind. While someone may not have been kind to me, there is no reason for me to follow their example.
Some may stop and say that I need to stand up for myself and let my voice be heard. But silence speaks louder than any words ever could. You have made your decision, I am making mine.
So as I go forward beginning to bring this blog back to life, I will remain classy. I will remain kind. I will remain Laura Bush. I will be Ok. Life will go on. The sun will rise. And I will ask what would Laura Bush do?
Thank you to all my readers that return. Your belief will get this blog back and running.
Author's Note: The song lyric of each blog is an important part of me and this blog. The lyrics don’t necessarily go with that day’s blog entry, but sometimes they do. When thinking about what song to use for the return of the blog, Pearl Jam just kept coming back to me. Not because there is any relation to Laura Bush whatsoever, but because I find my strength in the band’s music like I do in Laura. I am releasing myself to go back into the blog world. I am scared and afraid, but I am ready.