Understanding people

“So many times it happens too fast, you trade your passion for glory,” Eye of the Tiger, Survivor

I will never understand people. To quote a Seinfeld episode, “they’re the worse.” I just can’t wrap my head around not being there for someone. What is the point?

One of my closest friends right now is going through a very tough time. There have been some health issues and she has to spend tomorrow getting poked and tested to get some answers. There is a chance that it will work out Ok, but there is also a chance that she could receive bad news. It is sad and she is fully aware of what might happen tomorrow. Of course no one wants to think about that, but the fear is out there. She has told her close friends and family. Now you would think everyone would rally around her. Nope. Many of us are there for her and always will be, but that one who is not hurts more than all the support in the world.

Why do people act like this? I understand there may have been a falling out between the two, but when do you let it go? When do you realize that your family needs you and to grow up? When are you there for another no matter the cost? It is tough sometimes to be the bigger person, but people need to remember that there are better people worse off. Someone that has been a huge part of your life is going through a terrible time. I will never understand why someone would make it worse.

Everyone is busy, but turning your back on someone for whatever reason is not right. The way to make a point that you still are mad at someone is not to kick them when they are down. But it is a way to show the world what type of person you truly are. And that type of person is someone I hope to never be. This will get me hurt more times than I would like — sad fact. Hurt or not, I can look myself in the mirror. And while right now I may not be on top of the world, my actions and treatment of people will someday pay me back. It may take a while, but it will happen.

I believe Laura Bush can look herself in the mirror. She doesn’t treat people poorly. She believes in kindness. I don’t know everything about her, but I know enough to know she will always be there for someone. No matter the cost, she will be there. So as angry as I want to get at others, I will let it go. I will stop and ask, what would Laura Bush do?

Welcome!

“Been working so hard, I’m punching my card,” Footloose, Kenny Loggins

Thanks to the amazing support of a very good friend, and her forever belief in me, my blog will now be appearing two places — the original website and a local newspaper’s website. This is scary, but so exciting. It will mean more pressure to deliver blogs that folks want to read, a good problem to have. So with this latest development, today’s blog entry is going to be another introduction of sorts. The new readers that will click on this thanks to the promotion of the Cape Gazette need to know what they are getting themselves into. They need to get up to speed so they can better understand the randomness of me and my blog. To my faithful readers some of this may sound familiar, but who can’t use a refresher? Here are some things to know about this blog moving on.

No. 1: Why Laura Bush? The easy answer is because I love her. Yep, that’s right, I do. This is not about politics (although I am sure that topic will come up), it is about her character and how I try every day to carry myself in the manner that she demonstrates. When life presents me with a situation I stop and ask, what would Laura Bush do? To me she is the true definition of class and grace. I have always believed that there is never a reason to be unkind. Laura Bush has always shown me this same belief. No matter the situation, she is classy, she is kind. This blog will present examples and stories and how I handled it channeling Mrs. Bush. I fail sometimes, but I try.

No. 2: Now that I am reaching a wider audience I will try to break my habit of never proofreading my writing. This will be tough since I never reread anything so bear with me as I work on this. My writing can be chaotic, it is something that makes me me. Don’t worry, you will learn to “get” me.

No. 3: I will start almost every blog with a song lyric. Sometimes the lyric fits that day’s blog, sometimes it is just a song I like or happen to be listening to at the moment I hit publish. Music is my oxygen, it runs through my veins and keeps me going. I believe in music above all. For every situation in my life, there is a song that matches it perfectly. Music will be a major topic running throughout this blog. I love music!

No. 4: This blog started over a month ago as an exercise in finding myself. A lot of life changes happened to me this year and my life is somewhat of a mess at the moment. Writing it down and sharing it with the world is my way of getting through it. If while writing this I can help just one person pick themselves up after being knocked down, then I will have succeed. I have had a very bad run of it as of late, but I hope to show the world that you can always get back up after being knocked down. It will be a struggle, but it will happen.

No. 5: This blog is how I see things. I will never be unkind, but I will be honest. I will not be using it as a way to air any dirty laundry. I will of course have to give details to explain certain topics, but I will only share what is necessary to make my point. People that have hurt me in the past my not have respected me, but I will respect them when writing. No real names will ever be used, but if anyone takes offense to anything written, that is on them. If you wanted me to write warmly about you, then you should have treated me better.

No. 6: I welcome all suggestions! My goal has been to update my blog Monday-Friday at the least. Some weekends I will be quiet, but my main goal is a new entry every weekday. Unfortunately I will not have a set schedule, so the update will not appear at the same time every day. That just means you will have to keep checking back.

Buckle up and enjoy the blog ride you have either already been on or are about to begin. I promise, I will make it fun. After all, isn’t that what Laura Bush would do?

Tomorrow

“Don't stop thinking about tomorrow, don't stop, it’ll soon be here,” Don’t Stop, Fleetwood Mac

Holiday weekends are filled with good times and bad times. As great as it is to see so many people and catch up, it can get daunting. Dealing with people can get to you, boy can it get to you. Having a million things to do, trying to get it all in and not anger anyone is impossible. Running into people you haven’t seen in a while and trying to make conversation is tough. Hearing things about people you don’t care to talk about makes things worse. Sometimes weekends just get you down.

But as I look at my upcoming schedule for this week, I noticed that I have too many people asking something from me and I may not be able to get it all in. I may not be able to be there for everyone. So how do I decide who to be there for? How do I pick? What would Laura Bush do?

Of course I believe that if you make a commitment to someone or something, you must follow through. No matter how my schedule may change, I told people I would be there and I will be there. Emergency aside, I can’t disappoint them. But what about those plans that pop up last minute? How do you decide? Is it a first come first served thing or no? Well I do not know.  

But what I do know is I need to continue to try to put myself first. I struggling with this still, but I am trying. And if someone gets mad at me for not being at everything they ask me to be at, I need to just learn that it’s Ok. If they really care about me, they will understand.

So as I plan for this week ahead and people ask things of me, I am going to ask what Laura Bush would do. Would she sacrifice her own wellbeing to please others? Would she turn her world upside down to make others happy or make herself happy? I believe she would put herself first. She would of course be there for others when she can, but still think about herself. So going forward, I will continue to be what makes me me but also, still keep trying to put myself first. Wish me luck! What would Laura Bush do?

Memorial Day

“The pain of war cannot exceed the woe of aftermath,” Battle of Evermore, Led Zeppelin

Living near a summer tourist destination can be a pain. The influx of traffic, tourists, and cost increase can get a little annoying — excuse me, a lot annoying. But as Monday approaches, I don’t let it get to me. After all this holiday is about our fallen heroes, about the service members that paid the ultimate price for our country. The brave individuals that make it possible for me to have free speech and have this blog.

I thank our Veterans and current military every day, and I truly believe everyone should. But Memorial Day isn’t about those that are still with us, it is about those that died. It is a time to thank our fallen heroes. A day to pay respect. A day to honor. A day to just remember what they have done for us. For all the fun of a holiday weekend and all the barbecues, it should never take away from the somber day Monday is.

Being the daughter of a Vietnam Veteran I know firsthand the cost of war. My dad may have survived Vietnam physically, but it forever changed him. It forever changed our family. My brother is a Marine and so is my sister. My sister returned from Afghanistan a few months ago and while I worry everyday about her, I am thankful she returned. She didn’t return without some scars, but she did return.

But what about all the brave men and women who did not? How does their family handle this holiday? Do they get mad that the world now really doesn’t honor this day for what it truly symbolizes? It has become commercialized and if that stings me to the core, what does it do to them?

I have learned firsthand that these families handle it will class. Being offended aside, they don’t let others take away the day for them, take away their memories. The Gold Star families that I will see Monday at my local Memorial Day service will make me cry but they will also make me proud. Their strength will make me proud. Their courage will make me proud. Their character will make me proud. Their patriotism will make me proud. And being able to be in the same room as them will make me proud.

No one wants war, but sometimes it is the only option. That sucks, but it’s the truth. It is your right to be against war, but you don’t have to be pro-war to be pro-troops. These brave men and women gave you that right, they deserve your respect. No one should ever go through what our Vietnam Vets went through when they returned.

So this holiday weekend when someone annoys you, please just let it go. Please just remember what this holiday is about. And please remember the sacrifices made so you can have off on Monday. After all, Laura Bush will be doing the same thing.

Gym

“Whisper words of wisdom, let it be,” Let It Be, The Beatles

I have discovered that the gym is the place you can see the best and the worst in people. There are people all around bettering their health and their lives. They are striving to be healthy. They are losing weight, they are feeling better in their own skin, and it shows. On the other hand, it is a very arrogant place for many. People proving how much they can lift, flexing more for themselves than anyone else, and just being annoying. It is how I imagine a locker room would be. That’s great they can lift a car, but I don’t have to hear about it. I admire people that completely turn their life over to fitness. They eat the proper foods. Never miss a lift day. But I don’t have to hear about it. It is not me.

Today at the gym I experienced a what would Laura Bush do moment. Due to some rain, I decided to bail on running outside and go to the gym instead. I use the gym as a last resort, and as much as I wanted to just stay in bed, I went. I hop on the treadmill really excited that on the TV was a baseball game. Who knew so early in the morning I would catch a little baseball. So there I am running and watching the game. I decided not to use my headphones, big mistake. Two dudes hop on the treadmills next to me. I barely notice since, well I don’t really pay attention.

Anyway, these guys just start talking about everyone in the gym, I mean everyone. From what they are wearing to what machines they are using. Now I am the gym goer that rarely even matches my clothes. As long as it is the proper attire for what activity I am doing that day, I don’t care how it looks. I really should work on that. I am running just listening to these jerks badmouth everyone. I still don’t understand how what one person is wearing really has to do with your life, but that’s just me. I just ignored it. I get they needed to pass the time while running, but there are plenty of other topics in this world to discuss. I don’t believe in badmouthing anyone, but I kept thinking that maybe if these guys looked like David Beckham and were just pictures of perfection, I could let it slide. Yeah, they didn’t. If they did, this might have gone a lot differently — just saying.

Now to the Laura Bush moment. The guys look over to me and ask me what I think about what a particular gym patron was wearing. What to say, what to say. First thought was a smart ass comment about anyone wearing a wife beater can’t possibly speak about someone else’s attire. But nope, would Laura Bush say that? Instead I just politely said “to each his own” and kept on running. They looked at me confused, perhaps they didn’t understand what that meant. And then they continued to talk to me. About working out and of course, everyone at the gym. I would nod and continue looking at the television. I was trying to be polite.

And then it happened. The more chatty of the two guys asked me why I wasn’t interested in talking to them and more interested in running. And I quote “all girls want to talk to me.” I could not believe those words came out of his mouth. Mind you, I really was the only girl in the gym that was close to their ages, but still, how arrogant. So be Laura Bush or not? What should I say? My response…“Well if so many girls want to chat with you, I feel I would suffer by comparison so it is best I just run.” And off he went. His other friend just laughed and then started talking to me. Seriously? Leave me alone. Before he could go on about whatever he was talking about I looked at him and just said “run along.” He didn’t speak again.

So today’s blog isn’t about being hit on, it is about showing that even I fail at being Laura Bush. It is going to happen. Tomorrow is a new day and another chance to ask, what would Laura Bush do?

Lightning Bolt

“The crashing stormy waves erode her shoreline every day until the castle of her ways turns to sand,” Lightning Bolt, Pearl Jam

Months ago when talking to a friend of mine about the new Pearl Jam album (oh yes, we went total super fans), he said something to me regarding a certain song on the album. “I don’t know when you crossed paths with Eddie Vedder, but Lightning Bolt is so about you.” I listened to the lyrics, and nope didn’t get it. I still have no idea why he said this particular song could be about me. I went along with him since he knows pretty much everything about me — everything. Another friend agreed after I told her, but I still don’t see it. He mentioned it again the other day so it got me thinking, why is it that people see you differently than you see yourself. Why is it that some people viewed as great you view as a jerk, and vice versa. When do you start to see yourself the way others do? Good or bad.

I am a firm believer that the only opinion that matters is how you feel about yourself. But what if you don’t view yourself in a good light and others do? What about when others view you negatively? As much as you shouldn’t listen to others, you always will. Yeah you can brush it off but you still eventually will think about it.

Today I was having a very low day, just not in the best place. Immediately a best friend picked up on this and called for a phone date. This girl knows me better than I know myself sometimes. She knows what to say. She picked me up. She helped me feel better. It wasn’t just a call to feed my ego, it was a call to help me. She is always honest with me. Never hurtful, just honest. What she says I know is true, I know is right. I struggle with viewing myself the way she does, she knows this, but even knowing that she makes me feel better.

So how does one begin to see themselves the way others do? When should they? There will always be those examples of people you know that everyone else just loves and you are like “Eh, they really suck.” That is just the way of the world. Those people don’t matter. Even if they view you poorly, it doesn’t mean it is true. Those that truly see the good in you matter. As much as I try to see the good in everyone, sometimes there just isn’t any to see. But I know there is good in me. How do I start to see it? How do I start to believe it? People can tell me this until they are blue in the face, but I need to believe it. 

A recent run of bad luck and disappoint isn’t helping. Those closest to me that send me daily text messages help, but it still comes down to me. It is still me that in the end has to be strong, has to keep getting up. I have people in my corner cheering for me and against me. Those that want to see me fail. Those that want me hurt. But I know the ones cheering for me will far outweigh anyone against me. It is when you are your lowest that you realize who truly does care about you. You may be surprised to learn that some that claim they do really don’t. Their actions prove it. And you know what? Who cares about those people? I don’t have to really be a part of their life any more. Actions speak louder than words.

So in this rambling of a blog post I must ask, what would Laura Bush do? How would she start to see herself the way others do, others like me? I don’t even know if she ever has doubts. Does she see herself as I do? Does she ever worry about not being good? Well if she does, she never shows it. She never waivers in her strength and class. She always smiles.

So as I struggle I will try to live up to her example. I will try to show the world that I am good. That I am enough. It will be a daily struggle and I will fail. But when I do fail, I will dust myself off, look in the mirror and ask — What would Laura Bush do?

Hear “Lightning Bolt” here.

Thank You!

“Happiness, no more be sad, happiness...I’m glad,” Thank You, Led Zeppelin

All morning I have been trying to think of what to write. Even on my morning run I was trying to think what today’s topic could possibly be. I was coming up with nothing. I tried a few topics, but I just was not feeling them. I got a few suggestions, but not feeling those either. What to do, what to do? Well you know what I decided to do? I decided to not make today’s blog about me, but about you. I decided to just say thank you.

Thank you for reading my blog. Thank you for leaving comments. Thank you for following me. Thank you for being you. Thank you to those people that read everything I write. Thank you to those that ask me about it. Thank you to those that worry about me after a particular entry. Thank you to those who support me. And thank you to the strangers reading this blog. I may never meet you but you mean the world to me.

I will continue to try to post something almost every day. When I can’t come up with a topic, I will remember that people are reading this and strive for something. Writer’s block is real, but with your support, I will try to work past it. Thank you again and have a great day.